My best friend suggests me to wait till I find a "healthier" boyfriend. For the current one has gone through a severe depression, even was hospitalized for a week last winter for the potential possibility of committing suicide. But I really do not agree. Does depression give the grant for being single? or legitimate reason for breaking up? Absolutely not. I know it might need great patience and endurance for the spouse of depressed one. But it won't make me to leave him.
Acutually he bounced back to norm so much better than before. It was really comforting for me to see him bounce back. So I'd say the two, especially the spouse of the depressed one should really try to understand what the depression would like or feel like and try to help and get help for your lover.
And never lose hope! for each of us!
07/02/2010 04:27 PM
AmariT
Posts: 66
I think depression is an extremely complicated subject. In college, I had a good friend who was severely depressed. I always tried to be there for him and talk him through his troubles, but eventually that started wearing down on me and I realized that talking to him only ever made me miserable, and nothing I said ever seemed to help. He lashed out at everyone, including me, and he never seemed to think that I cared about him enough. I wanted to be there for him, but after a couple of years of this, I decided that I needed to protect myself and I stopped talking to him. I've reopened the lines of comunication every year or so since then to see how he's doing, and it immediately becomes the same situation so I back off again. I guess I just realized that as much as I wanted to help, I wasn't going to be able to save him and I needed more positive influences in my life.
But two of my best friends are on anti-depression medication right now and I've never had issues with them. Their depression doesn't engulf their entire lives and spread to others the way his did. And I have another friend who has had severely depressed periods, during which I always try to be there for her, and then she bounces back.
I can understand your friend's concern--depression tends to be perpetual and if he had a time that severe once, it's extremely possible that he might have another one--but I don't necessarily think that should be the end of your relationship either. People go through depressed periods, and you should be there for your love. But in the end, I think you need to be a little selfish. You need to be willing to help, but also be able to realize when the relationship itself becomes unhealthy and is causing you too much suffering.
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