My Hamstring Never Grew Back!

Hi, I am 28. I had an ACL surgery, when i was 21. My doctor at the time was doing the Hamstring graft, and it was a new type of surgery at the time, or so it seemed. He was very excited about it, it only takes three minutes, your hamstring grows back, minimal scars etc... I thought it would be fine, since he was such a reknowned doctor in my area and he was very sure that he was the best. Anyways, I had the surgery, afterward, there was some popping noises, which I mentioned to him and my physical therapist, both of which said it was the hamstring popping over some other tendon, and it would go away. I said ok. It never did go away. That was the least of my worries. I went off to college, twelve hours away. I dilegentlly did my exercises, and after two years noticed that my surgery leg could not operate fully as the other, in particular, lifting it to the back, using the HAMSTRING. So I obsessively felt around the backs of my knees for nights and nights, certain that my hamstring in fact was gone! I could not find it, even if it were really tiny, I could not find it. So, I went to a local doctor, in the area I lived, he feltt around and said, it was there, and that i needed to exercise it more. I disagreed with him, but he convinced me otherwise. I began doing more physical therapy, which I could not afford, and made my knee pop, crackle, and hurt. I then decided to see my original doctor, drove twelve hours to see him, took off work, and school, only to be told, very rudely that I had not done my physical therapy. He didn't even touch my leg, and tried to walk out of the room in less than five minutes. Well, I cried, and got mad, and said but you haven't even examined my leg. Then I guess he felt obligated, so he felt it and said, I feel the hamstring, I said, I don't think you do, Are you sure? NExt he decided that our visit was over and that it was time for him to leave, he told me, if I wanted to have an MRI to go ahead and have one, but that it would be expensive, and fruitless, he was certain I hadn't done the physical therapy. Well, I had not the funds for complicated MRI's on my at the time... I tried to forget about it and accept that my surgery was a sham, and that my doctor could not even be nice to me. I felt very violated, this man had cut open my body, and lacked even onedrop of compassion. Then I tried to go on with my life, I am very active... I taught snowboarding and swimming, amongst various other ativities, and slowly the knee got worse and worse. Eventually, throwing my whole body off balance so much that now I have a reoccurring, problem in my lower back, and one leg is shorter than the other! I eventually got the opportunity to travel in Thailand. When I got there I had heard that they offer cheap MRI's. I went to a doctor, the saw me immediately at a state of the art hopsital. I told him the story, he said, the hamstring was in there, same story, that it had to, and that I probably just didnt do my physical therapy well enough. He said the MRI was not necessary. I insisted. After two grueling hours in the tube, (I guess the hamstring is tricky one to capture) and about $500. I had my MRI of my supposed hamstring. The Next day, I went to the consultation, to go over the results of the MRI. He said, MY HAMSTRING WAS GONE, AND THAT IT WOULD NEVER GROW BACK! What I knew all along, and kept being lied to about. He said the only thing I could do was to do physical therapy for the surrounding muscles. Well, it's been 3 years since that. I haven't had insurance, or money to pay for physical therapy, and i hate to say, but my knee has deteriorated into a crumbly, popping, cracking point of anxiety in most of the steps I take. Not to mention the constant concern I have over the hamstring and the long term effects of walking around without one the most major muscles in my leg. Any advice??? I'm not one for lawsuits, and I actually have a moral dilemma about it, but, this really isn't fair. I mean I don't think I can have a job where i am on my feet all day, which is about all jobs that are appealing or even available to me. Should I just chalk this up to that it was the possible outcome of any surgery? Is that what i am supposed to live the rest of my life thinking?