Does depression hurts your relationship w/ the other half?

I think depression is an extremely complicated subject. In college, I had a good friend who was severely depressed. I always tried to be there for him and talk him through his troubles, but eventually that started wearing down on me and I realized that talking to him only ever made me miserable, and nothing I said ever seemed to help. He lashed out at everyone, including me, and he never seemed to think that I cared about him enough. I wanted to be there for him, but after a couple of years of this, I decided that I needed to protect myself and I stopped talking to him. I've reopened the lines of comunication every year or so since then to see how he's doing, and it immediately becomes the same situation so I back off again. I guess I just realized that as much as I wanted to help, I wasn't going to be able to save him and I needed more positive influences in my life.

But two of my best friends are on anti-depression medication right now and I've never had issues with them. Their depression doesn't engulf their entire lives and spread to others the way his did. And I have another friend who has had severely depressed periods, during which I always try to be there for her, and then she bounces back.

I can understand your friend's concern--depression tends to be perpetual and if he had a time that severe once, it's extremely possible that he might have another one--but I don't necessarily think that should be the end of your relationship either. People go through depressed periods, and you should be there for your love. But in the end, I think you need to be a little selfish. You need to be willing to help, but also be able to realize when the relationship itself becomes unhealthy and is causing you too much suffering.